Yep! I said it... Just shut the heck up and listen.
Too often, we think we always need to say the right thing, solve the right problem, etc.
But I want to tell you something-- we as a society, as humans spend waaaaaay too much time speaking or thinking of speaking.
Because, we are so focused on ourselves and what we want or how we can be the expert.
We think what we say is actually what matters or is what makes all the difference.
Want a hashtag truth bomb? It's not. No one actually cares what you have to say.
Especially as a coach or consultant of any type; what you say has zero value if it comes from you.
People think being good in business means having to be an expert.
They think being an expert means being wise and having all of this knowledge they share and impart onto others. They think it comes from their heads and out of their mouths and BAM...value. Bam...money. Bam...followers.
...Nah. That's not how it works.
Let me tell you why.
People don't care what you have to say if the content is from you, if the subject is you. Because you are not the solution to their problems. This circles back to the issue that people spend 99% of their time speaking or thinking of what to say.
They don't listen.
If it's anything I learned in my 7+ years of training in the field of psychology and human behavior or the 10+ years of actually practicing IN the field, it's this... listening is key.
You wouldn't think we need to be TAUGHT how to listen, right? It should come naturally right?
Hearing is a passive task. Listening, is an active task.
Hearing requires no skill, just ears.
Listening requires skill. It requires tuning in, honing in and opening up (and shutting up)
You might be hearing what people are saying.
You might be hearing what people need.
You might be hearing all kinds of things.
But, what are you LISTENING to?
What are you tuning in to?
What are you picking up on?
What's going on thats remaining unsaid?
How do you know when you're truly listening and not just hearing?
When you do speak, the content, the value comes from others. You use what THEY'RE saying to curate a response or a solution.
That's when you truly begin offering value.
Because you're a fantastic listener. You listen to what others need/want.
Maybe you're not delivering value at all because you're so wrapped around the idea that people care what you have to say, what expert advice you're offering, what's going on in your life, how you can solve their problems, etc. But...
You're not trying to sell yourself on an idea, product or service. You're not trying to understand what you want... you know what you want (hopefully).
You're trying to sell something to someone else. You're trying to give value to someone else.
You know what determines value... here's a clue: it's 100% NOT you.
You determine price.
Others determine the value.
So, just because you put something out there doesn't mean it has any value whatsoever #sorrynotsorry
Value is determined by what someone else.
Here's an example: If I am building a house and need a hammer to pound in the nails but you hand me a wrench, is that tool valuable to me? No... But you're thinking, "girl do you know what this wrench can do?! It's can turn things and tighten things and fix things!"
That's great. I'm sure it's a great wrench, but I don't need it so it's not valuable to me.
Here's another example: My husband is a car guy, loves cars. He's always looking at car auctions online. Sometimes, I see cars that look like piles of turd pulled from junk yards but people pay $25,000+ for them?! Wanna know who determines the value of those cars? People who want them. What people are willing to pay for something and how badly they want it determines the value of it.
It may not be valuable to you because you could care less about cars so you won't pay that much for it. So guess how much value it holds for you? None.
Value is determined by others. So I will ask you again:
Are you truly listening to your target audience, your "community"?
What are they posting, sharing and engaging with?
What are they asking for, complaining about or struggling with?
Instead of speaking, posting and sharing what you want or what you assume people want (or worse, what you think they need *cringe*), what questions are you asking?
How are you listening?
Listening means you're using them; their ideas, their struggles, their content, their needs to inform how you respond, what you offer and how you offer it.
In other blog posts, I'll go over some exact strategies you can implement in your business practice to see more success.
Until then, remember, just shut up and listen.
I love hearing from you guys and how I can deliver value based on things you need, things you struggle with and how I can help you grow!
So, if YOU found value from this, screenshot it and tag me on Instagram because I would love to know what your key takeaways were!